I can hardly believe I’ve been here for three weeks, I expected it to go by quickly, but this seems absurd. Leaving in 2.5 weeks! While I’m looking forward to such comforts as a reliable car, internet, AC, etc, I’m in no way ready to go back. Then again, I’m never really ready to go home. If it were up to me and money wasn’t a factor I’m pretty sure I’d become a professional nomad. Going home is always hard, in part because I never feel that calm in the US, and even through all of the hectic ventures I feel more comfortable here than in LA. And it’s not just Ghana, it seems to be anywhere that isn’t “here,” traveling is very much my greatest passion.But also, I know I’ll adjust back to “life as usual”-and I hate that. I hate when I get caught up in ridiculous things that don’t matter, when months slip by, but nothing has happened.
I used to think that by removing myself from the day-to-day and going abroad I would gain perspective into what it is I should be doing with my life. But in fact, because of these trips, I’ve irreversibly changed any path I may have been searching for. Each trip provides new insights, experiences, that don’t necessarily point me to where “I’m supposed to be.” I’m starting to think that place doesn’t exist. My problem is, not that I’m lost, but that there’s so much I enjoy, and I can’t seem to settle on one particular path. I’m coming to the conclusion that I’ll never have an answer for “what do you want to do,” other than, travel. And maybe I’ll never know, but that’s fine, at least I can say my life won’t ever be boring. I do know that whatever I do, it must be constantly changing, routine would be the death of me. My three month rule holds true, if I don’t change something in my life dramatically (move apartments, go abroad, start something…), I start to get depressed, anxious, I certainly felt that way this summer before coming here!
But back on topic, the last few days have been busy, going home at 6pm (which unlike volunteering which gets you home around 1-2, feels very late!). I’m working with another grad student in her lab; extracting DNA from guinea fowls to determine sex (since, apparently, this can’t be done visually).
Today, after a half day at work I’m meeting Alex at one of the main stations in southern Accra to head out to the beach for a night (25km from the city). We’re staying at an infamous hostel (Big Milly’s Backyard-Kokrobite Beach) known for drumming performances and late night bonfires-so should be interesting. Out of our entire time here, I could only get reservations for this one night, other than that they’re “fully committed.” Mostly looking forward to doing nothing on the beach!
I think most people your age feel the same; not wanting to “settie down” and investigating all options. Veronica (I think) is being a nanny in Switzerland now. I think it’s being, helping people though, that is the most important factor in happiness. Reading books on my lounge chair in the backyard, watering the veggies and flowers, listening to the aspen trees and petting the dogs is where I’m happy right now!
Yesterday was nice as I worked around here then walked down to the theater with the girls to see “The Help”; one of the best movies ever. Walked back up and talked to Sharon. Assumed her daughter was happy in H.S. since she’s so sporty, but not the case. Dinner with Dad (ceviche and tuna filet salad), and working in my sewing room later.