I anticipated that when we told people we were taking our 10-month old daughter to Colombia that we’d get push back. Perhaps its because the New York Times insisted its a place to visit this year, or everyone has just accepted our tendency to lean towards lesser visited destinations, but overall the reactions have been mostly enthusiastic. A few questions as to “why” sure, but no objections. A fair amount of people had been themselves, leading me to wonder why we haven’t considered it before. As we geared up to travel for the first time with a mobile baby I’d been thinking a lot about balance with children. How we balance caring for their needs and our own. How we love and protect them, but not shelter them. How we continue to live our lives, while respecting their needs. Continue reading
Wren is circling back around the blanket again, she’s half regular crawling, half bear crawling as she tries to balance with one hand because the other hand is holding a stollen snack from another baby. She has her own snacks, but stollen snacks taste better, apparently. I don’t know where this little girl came from. I put her down and she’s off to explore, and sort of gently paw at her friends. She’s a curious one and loves spending time with other kids of all ages. She gets so excited when she sees other babies/kids and will verbally exclaim, usually with an “AH!” Which is great because we usually see friends every day of the week. Our social calendar, for the first time in my adult life is packed.
You’re heavy in my arms now, your legs hang limp and pass my hips. You snuggle your face into my neck, its near sleep, the only time you’re not pushing and lurching to explore. I pause for a few minutes these days, at this time and just breathe in your sweetness, I can feel your babyhood slipping away. Months more and you’ll be running around, a toddler, then a child. I don’t know how this time has gone so fast, but here we are. Continue reading
These are the days. I’m sitting on the couch drinking coffee and watching Wren scoot around on her mat, playing quietly. She looks up at me, I smile and say “hi Wren!” She gets a huge grin on her face and then returns to what she was doing. I’ve realized we made it. We’re on the other side of the pendulum. I’ve been waiting for this for months. For the first time since she was born I’m no longer looking forward. I’m just here in this time with her. I don’t want her to get older, though I’m excited to see her continue to grow. But there’s no rush, even though the relentless nature of time means it will slip by anyway. It took six months to adjust to each other. Growing is hard, for all of us. But here we are. The pendulum has swung from uncertainty to certain, deciding to have a child was the right choice. I look at her and am overwhelmed with a love I’ve never known, and feel the utmost privilege to get to experience. There’s my heart just rolling around on the floor in front of me. Its the most vulnerable and joyful experience of my life. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.