I haven’t written much, at least not here. I’ve been writing away for my course, but neglecting this blog. The truth, primarily is that these past weeks have been a strange in between time where the days are slow, and easy. The weather, generally pleasant, as far Dublin weather is ever pleasant, where the days are slowly getting longer, the damp, dark winter abating, giving promise of spring.
There isn’t much to do, really. Ever since returning from Ethiopia, lasting until next week when my sister arrives, minus a brief weekend trip to Amsterdam. I’ve been more or less, waiting. Two months of daily routine, of nothing different really. Daily life, of meals cooked, nights out, dinner parties, friends, passing time before the (welcome) chaos of mid March and April begin. But instead of feeling stagnant, or bored, this time in between has been, for one of the first times in my adulthood, welcome. There is a strange peace to it, of no expectations or plans to be had. It reminds me of being on a train, or bus. The simplicity of movement to some future destination, but during the journey there is little to do but watch the scenery, listen to music, write, and think. My favorite part of travel is often in the in between. There is a meditative calm that comes with it; you have nowhere to be but the present. Nothing to do but breathe and live. No plans are necessary. These weeks have been that way, a welcome reprise from the constant low-level stress humming in the distance of graduate school.
Perhaps I am getting older, that I find solace in this extreme simplicity. Of the only requirements of my days being to take care of a home, to cook, to workout, to write. And perhaps it is because I know it is not forever. So, I’m relishing the nothing, the non-events, the ease of my days. For many, the daily routine where days and years blend into sameness is normal, it can even be comforting. For me, it feels like a sort of death, most of the time. So I’ve been surprised how much I’ve enjoyed relative nothingness, a lack of significant events. But soon it will end. So for now, I’m just relishing in this strange space I’ve never felt comfortable with, and marveling at how much I’ve learned to enjoy simplicity. These were my last few weeks.